Just a "Normal" Day

Warning...Brutally honest post.

Being a sibling of a special needs child is a very unique thing. As a sister to a disabled child, Keagan is so blessed to learn patience, compassion, tolerance and service at such a young age. Through out her life, Riley will bless Keagan in so many ways and teach her so many things. But being Riley's sister isn't just a list of pros. Not many people talk about or think about it, and to be honest about this is a little difficult. But there are sacrifices in having this special kind of family. Even for a three year old.

With Riley's very busy schedule of doctors appointments and therapy visits, very unfortunately Keagan is often left behind. The absolute worst is when Riley is in the hospital and I refuse to leave her there. I miss Keagan so much when I'm away. I too vividly remember a day during Riley's 17 day TCH NICU stay when they were 3 months. My sister brought Keagan down to the hospital just for me to sit in the car and hold and kiss her. There was alot of tears in that mini van!

Keagan has been forced to be even more independent then she already is, because Riley requires so much extra help and attention. Unfortunately there is only one of me. When the girls were about 2, I was feeding Riley and watching Keags feed herself. It hit me that I had quickly taught Keagan how to feed herself and then just always expected her to do so, so that I could feed Riley. When she falls asleep in the car or may be having a melt down, I have to just hold her hand while she walks instead of carrying her. My arms are already full with her unable to walk sister.

And there are experiences that may be missed or cut short for Keagan, because Riley might not be able to participate. We try our darndest to make play grounds work, while I carry Riley around the park. But McDonalds play lands are the worst! And if I dont have an older neice with me to carry Riley, they must be avoided. Movie theaters and other things may be just a little too hard for Riley, so unfortunately Keagan misses out too.

At this age, my sweet Keagan does so well with all of this. It's obvious she longs for more interaction with her sister. But now she has taken to her older sister role well and likes to help and make Riley laugh. There is so much information out there about what Keagan may go through in the future. Resentment and embarrassment are such ugly terms, but they just might surface and will need to be faced head on.

Until then I will love my Keags as much as I can and teach her to look at the blessings she has. And I will also teach her it's okay to enjoy just a "NORMAL" day. Running errands, shopping and going to the park with mommy. For a three year old, that's about as "normal" as it gets! There was no wheelchairs or diverted attention today as Riley was at school. Of course we miss our Riley but it's good for Keagan to have her "normal" time.





I pray Keagan will grow into a loving twin sister who jumps at the chance to provide everything possible for her special sister. But I also pray she grows up to have her own "normal" achievements, dreams and life. It may be tricky to do both. But I think Keagan is just the type of girl to pull it all off! Literally...thank heavens! The Lord new exactly what he was doing when He sent a very special Keagan to be the sister of a very special Riley!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone