That’s exactly what Satan is always telling me. And boy would he love for me to believe that. The hard part is that he is convincing because he has a pretty good argument. Sometimes I yell at my kids. Sometimes I get overwhelmed. I look at my phone too much and let the girls have too much screen time themselves. I didn’t read to them enough when they were little and had to supplement my breast milk with formula. I let them eat fast food. I’m bad at brushing their teeth. I say “don’t make a mess” way too often and snap at them to clean up. I don’t make them sleep in their own beds, I get super inpatient when I’m tired and sometimes they have too much sugar. I can be hard on them and I constantly fall short of what they deserve.
But even with all that and SO much more, Satan is wrong. Dead wrong!
I am a good mom because that is exactly what my Heavenly Father whispers to me. I am a good mom because I have the Lord by my side! I am a good mom because I love Keagan and Riley with every last cell in my body and they know it. They know it by my words and my actions. I am always there for them and I am doing my darndest to teach them the gospel, to follow Jesus Christ. I sacrifice for them willingly and protect them fiercely. I show them how to treat others with kindness and I’m really trying to help them to become who He intended them to be. I do everything I can to provide what they need physically, spiritually and emotionally. And I am a good mom because I admit my weaknesses, apologize to them for my mistakes and try so freaking hard to be better each day.
Two voices, two very different messages.
If Satan can get me to believe him then my discouragement works in his favor as I stop trying to do all the things the Lord needs me to do as Keagan and Riley’s mom. If I listen to Satan and accept that I am a bad mom, he will slowly win my family. But if I listen to the Lord, then the sky is the limit. If I leave all my mothering failures at His feet, He will take them and turn them into successes. He will gently guide me on this eternally vital journey and fill in all the places I fall short. So I chose to listen to my Heavenly Father and have faith that He sent me these two precious girls for a reason, even knowing I would be doing it alone and doing it with so many shortcomings and weaknesses. I chose to believe Him and I chose to love Keagan and Riley with everything I’ve got!
And let’s be honest they are easy to love! These girls fill my life full of laughter and love in between all the hard of course.
Yep that’s Riley carrying her giant cupcake pillow into church instead of her scripture bag and Keagan being Keagan with all her hilarious faces and dramatics!
I was super blessed to be able to go on the 5th grade field trip with my girlies last week! We took the bus to the Houston Museum of Natural Science and had a really amazing time! I was buddies with Riley and helped chaperone Keagans group. We had a blast doing all kinds of fun stuff in the museum obviously but also including getting to eat a picnic lunch outside where Keagan and lots of kids rolled down the hill and played! Bonus was everyone got their official 5th grade shirts that day too! A glow in the dark Star Wars theme of “Stormin Into 6th Grade” made both my girls very happy!
Last week Keagan got to be on the daily video announcements. She totally rocked it even with her super stuffy nose and Riley was SO excited each morning to see her sister!
We figured out why Riley’s lower back has been aching. Unfortunately her scoliosis has worsened as she has gotten taller recently. We’ve had lots of doctors appointments for that. Today was our first day of Thanksgiving Break and she had two different doctors appointments. I told her she could wear whatever she wanted so Elsa went to Texas Childrens today! And the costume helped her be super brave for lots of measurements and X-rays! I was so proud of her! She is back to being Anna and Elsa obsessed because we just saw Frozen 2 as it came out last weekend. We all absolutely LOVED it!!
A couple Saturdays ago Keagan and I helped volunteer for the 3rd year in a row together at the 5K/10K Aunt Kari organizes. We worked hard and had fun with the Ginns but the 5:45 report time and cold temps were too much for Riley who stayed home with Nana thankfully. Just like how thankfully Nana keeps Riley and lets her go to bed early while Keagan and so go to Young Women’s every Thursday night. This last Thursday was a great one as we had a blast seeing the DPAC Texas teenagers in Beauty and the Beast!
The girls continue to inspire me with their happy attitudes to do our Come Follow Me lessons every Sunday and that they love that early Friday morning running club. They had a fun play date at Audrey’s and they rocked more dress up days for kindness week I just forgot to take more pictures.
Riley had a super fun Thanksgiving party in class, we are thrilled with our tradition of Christmas jammies for another year and I had the most incredible opportunity to attend the temple sealing of Grama Linda and Coach where I felt the spirit so strong and just knew my dad was there with us too! I also tried really hard not to think about it that it was my last time in the Houston temple with Lisa and Todd for an extremely long time.
And finally we had another really great experience last Saturday. We were able to have a family over and they have a 3year old daughter with special needs. Several days prior I had the thought that I really needed to find someone who could use Riley’s old wheelchair, and as the Lord always does He figures it out and got us connected. So sweet Riley passed the old hot pink wheelchair off to sweet Emerson. And she did it while wearing half a pirate costume of course. It was a rather surreal moment and as soon as the amazing family left I offered a prayer of gratitude that Riley no longer needed the chair and asked that it would now bless their family as much as it did ours!
I am far, far away from being a perfect mom! That’s for sure! But with the Lords help I am striving to become the perfect mom for Keagan and Riley! I can’t do that without Him and I definitely can’t do that if I listen to Satans lies! I am not a bad mom! It feels good to say that and worth the fight to believe it. So I chose to listen to the Lord and believe I am a mom trying to be a good mom. It’s definitely what Keagan and Riley deserve! So I will try again tomorrow. Lord please help me!
