I looked at this beautiful girl of mine in awe, as she was sailing ahead of me. I said a quick prayer as she raced, floated and danced away on her scooter, thanking The Lord for loaning her to me knowing full well that I would be doing this alone and raising her incredible and special sister too with all of my short comings and weaknesses.
As I admired my Keags I prayed that our struggle back and forth for her to have control, doesn't diminish her great determination.
I prayed that my impatience with her doesn't ever crush her confidence and unique and amazing spirit.
I prayed that the attention that I sometimes have to give Riley because of all her extra needs doesn't decrease her self worth.
And I prayed that even though it's just me (with added love from family and friends) that she will feel loved and treasured like she deserves!
I often worry that these things, these places where I fall short, are holding my Keagan back from all that she deserves. And then I hand it over to The Lord. I ask Him to be my partner and give her what I'm not, or what I can't, and to help me do better for both of them each day.
Hopefully that, and my unconditional love and adoration will be enough to fill in these big gaps and give her wings to fly. It's one of my greatest prayers. And as far as I can see, she is on her way there.
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You are the most courageous and strong and beautiful mother I know. Truly. Those girls are lucky to have you.
ReplyDeleteListen to your sister. She is WISE beyond her 40 something year(s). :) I think we all feel this way sometimes...I like that "partner with God" thought. With me, he's still doing most of the work!
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