The Struggle

For months I have painfully watched Riley struggle with a seemingly simple task in Occupational Therapy. Most typical children develop their pincer grasp before they are a year old. But sweet Riley of course isn't so typical. Months ago her therapist, Miss Minnie set a goal for her to be able to pick up five small beads and place them in a small container. For a little girl with CP, a fine motor skill like this takes some serious effort!

Week after week I have watched intently while Riley will try and try again to get a colorful bead in her little hand. She would have some success and get some in. But it was never without a struggle and many, many missed tries. Most of the time my perserverant girl would just keep raking at the bead in her therapists hand. Occasionally she would get a little frustrated and want to give up after 20 failed tries. But inevitably she would keep trying until she got it. There is so much to learn from her!

This twice weekly task was a struggle for Riley. But I dare say that it was a much harder struggle for me! It is so hard to watch your child encounter obstacles! There were so many times I just wanted to pick up the bead for her or give her something bigger, like the jax to better guarantee her success. But if I did either of those things, Riley wouldn't have developed what is now a strong grasp for those little beads. This week she successfully reached this goal and it is an achievement all her own. One that she earned by working very hard for it. Most parents probably wouldn't notice this accomplishment, but for a special needs mom it is something to really celebrate!

I have a good feeling that this is just the beginning of me feeling this way. I have such a strong desire to do everything I can for both of my girls to make it so they don't have to ever struggle. But that is definitely not how the Lord intended this life to be. Without the struggle, we may never learn the lesson. Without the struggle, we may never reach the accomplishment. I look back at my own struggles and realize that is when I have grown the most. I just hope I can remember that each time I watch them face a new obstacle.

I think I really learned this week that it will always be hard to watch them struggle, but it just makes the celebrations that much sweeter!

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