It's hard for me to admit, but it's been a really hard week for me. Sometimes the weight of raising these two little girls alone and wondering what mistakes I'm making along the way just sits so heavy. With Rileys long list of diagnoses and Keagans new diagnosis of dyslexia, I sometimes wonder if I'm the right woman for this job. These two girls deserve the world and I'm not sure I'm giving it to them, or at least doing enough to help them get it themselves! And the worst part of it, super honest and vulnerable warning, is sometimes I'm tired of trying so hard. That's the ugly truth that maybe my girls might need to hear one day.
The last thing I write this for is to get feedback or assurance from others. That actually just makes me pretty uncomfortable. I write it, I am vulnerable about it here, for my girls. I write it so that one day when life seems to be swallowing them up and they are tired too, they will know it's ok. They will know it's normal and that we have all been there. They will hopefully read this one day in the midst of a rough spot of life and know they can do it! They are both stronger then anyone I know, so if I can do it, they can definitely do it! Hopefully they will pray, rely on their Savior and just keep putting one foot in front of the other! Hopefully they will remember to count their blessings and cherish their people. That is just what I've been doing and have done in the past. I know it works! And this too shall pass, it always does. Until it does Keagan and Riley, just hold on and do your best. He will help you and so will I!
So this is what it looked like for me this week while I was holding on, relying on Him, praying, counting my blessings, loving my people and really just putting one foot in front of the other!
On Monday for FHE I introduced they girls to their family history! Riley didn't care too much but Keags was eating it up! She loved hearing stories of her ancestors and particularly liked Paulina Eliza Phelps Lyman. She died in 1912 after being a midwife in Parawon, UT where she raised her seven children on her own! This is a pic of three seriously strong women right here!
In tumbling class Keags finally reached her goal in doing her back walkover! I was super proud! And I was so thankful to be there for it! This was the very first tumbling class that Riley and I didn't stay and watch. I thought I would get some errands done and had no idea it was the one time they were going to invite parents down on the mat to watch! Luckily Chantel texted me and I sped there and caught this feat in the last 5 mins!
I had Keagans 504 meeting this week to set up her accomadations at school for the dyslexia, fought with insurance over Rileys therapy, reschedule therapies, met with Rileys OTs, and filled out endless questionnaires for Rileys upcoming 3 year evaluation. No wonder I'm tired!
Of course the girls rocked a great week at school! These are pics of Keags rocking a STEM project with Lauren and Rileys amazing donut art on display in the rotunda!
We had another Unicorn Girls meeting this week! We brought the painting craft and had a great time with those cute girls and their mommas!
The girls made a video this week doing exercises and pretending to be Coach Fox! It was so darling and loved by lots of friends at school!
Yesterday was such a fun day celebrating our friend Izzy Monson. We enjoyed her baptism and then the girls went to their very first late night and had a blast swimming, eating pizza and cake and playing together in their jammies! To make it even better, Keags bestie from school Lauren was invited too because they are all in tumbling together and have been family friends for a long time! Both girls were SO excited! Keagan was seriously non stop in the pool and would barely slow down to eat and Riley loved her extra attention from Baby Drew!
I relied on this scripture this week! It did my heart good!
I have a great feeling this week is going to be better then the last one! It's Holy Week so it's got too! Where I'm at right now there is no better time for this worship and celebration of my Saviors resurrection! He atoned for me so that I don't have to carry the weight of this week alone, and this week I will focus on that in my Easter celebrations! And hopefully it's something Keagan and Riley will always do as well!
Now that is the beautiful truth!
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