You Lose Some

You hear it all the time. You win some, you lose some. Well the three Kikuchi girls have infinitely more wins in the bucket then losses, that’s for sure. But lately we have had some whoppers of losses. 

Yesterday I passed a kidney stone in the emergency room at St Luke’s hospital. That’s something I never want to do again! SO! MUCH! PAIN!! Thank heavens for morphine, for a priesthood blessing from Coach, for Nana taking me to the ER and for Sa and Taryn splitting up Keagan and Riley duty for the day! And this morning I had some squamous cell skin cancer cut out of my right fore arm. I was super scared and I still don’t want to peak under the bandages! They tell me I needed 12 stitches on the inside and 6 on the outside to get all the cancer out. I’m really not thrilled about taking care of the wound for 2 weeks but at least it was me and not one of my babies!!

I would do both of those 10 times over if it meant Riley didn’t have to face any of her medical challenges! Her and I had a seriously rough day recently when she had to have another EEG to monitor seizure activity. Unfortunately, it is possible that she has been having more seizures. After I forwarded Dr Clark a video that her teachers took at school, he put in orders for an EEG and a bunch of blood work. Well I knew the EEG wasnt going to be easy cause it never has been, but I was way under prepared for just how rough it was! The technician was great and was very patient and gentle as it took her over an hour to put all 27 probes in the right spot on Riley’s head and chest. That whole time I was basically laying on Riley to hold her down and keep her from bucking off the bed or pulling the wires off. She screamed, cried and wretched and I wanted to do all the same things because I felt SO bad for her! It was absolutely horrific for both of us but it absolutely had to be done unfortunately. I sure hate epilepsy and all it puts my baby through!! She completely wore herself out in her fight which was a good thing so we could monitor her after she fell asleep too. I laid next to her completely still for 45 minutes and did not move a muscle when all I wanted to do was cry and then get my baby the heck out of there!! Thankfully she bounces back so fast and was very happy when we left partly because she earned herself a sweet teddy bear! 

The night after that rough afternoon Miss Keagan definitely sensed it had been a hard day for both of us and she gave us a huge win! My sweet girl had me stay out of the kitchen as she completely cleaned it all! And by all I mean unload the dishwasher, load the dishwasher, and clean all the counters and the sink! What a huge gift that was to me! 

And as Riley’s tantrums have increased lately Keagan has done similar things more and more! One of the days she even saved some lunch for me and set it all up and the other day she reorganized the cup cabinet! I know she sees Riley and I struggle and responds in such an incredible way! I appreciate her strength and thoughtfulness more then she can know! Unfortunately she took a big fall in the bathroom at school this week and has a sore knee with a nasty bruise to prove it! 

Riley’s increase in tantrums is definitely a loss for all of us as it is really hard on all three of us! I can completely understand Riley’s frustration with all she has to deal with. But 96% of the time I can clearly identify what it is she is tantruming over. It is usually about what she wants to wear or what she wants to do. I have never known a kid who was more insistent about what they are always wearing whether it’s a costume or her baseball shirt! But we are really trying to confront the tantrums head on. Unfortunately she has been discharged from private speach therapy which is infuriating to me but we are still working hard in helping her be able to communicate her wants and needs in a calm manner. And Miss Taryn took my idea and made Riley a star chart that she can easily use to encourage no tantrums and help her earn treats and costume choices. Since we started using it Saturday morning it has worked! Fingers cross it helps get us back on track over here! 

On the daily, our little party of 3 Kikuchi girls has always had and will always have more blessings then we can count. But you can’t win em all and we have had a few losses lately. But it’s a new week ahead and we are looking for some wins! So here we go Kikuchi girls, here we go!