Broken

My thoughts are swirling around my head and it's hard to see the screen through my tears. But in true Emily fashion I have to get it out of my head and onto my blog. Believe it or not, it truly helps.

Riley had her Audiology appointment today. The results are that she has significant hearing loss. My spunky little girl did not cooperate for some of the tests needed and one test has to be done while she is sedated anyway. So we will be able to speak with the scheduler of that further testing next week. Once we complete those tests we will have specific numbers, types, clarification and a plan for moving forward.

At the very least she will need one or more hearing aides and to have testing done every three months. I'm hoping for hot pink hearing aides! It is also very possible that this confirms her neurologists hypothesis that she has CMV which means this could be progressive and she could fully lose all hearing.

That has hit me very hard.

I am much more upset then I probably should be about this. We have faced way scarier battles. But I just don't want my baby to be more trapped in her little body. She has conquered so many challenges with miracles and strength but I don't want her to have to do anymore.

And to be quite honest, I absolutely hate to admit it, but I'm a little tired of fighting next to her. Just tired and wishing some thing was easy. Anything. But I will NEVER give up! And I know neither will she, and neither will our Heavenly Father. That's all I'm holding onto at this point!

She is such a big and beautiful spirit trapped in such a broken body.

Oh my sweet girl!

Oh my heart!






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