Well, hopefully I’m a recovering fixer. But it’s a process y’all!
I realized I am a fixer after my divorce. I went to therapy like everyone should after something so traumatic and it was just one of the things my therapist helped me figure out. At the time it was so enlightening to realize the why and the what of being a fixer. It explained a lot but also opened up a whole lot of new questions too. That is when I realized that a lot of the significant relationships through out my life have subconsciously been rooted in my need to fix. That’s quite something to realize about yourself y’all! And it also shined a big bright light on some of my destructive habits that went along with that. It was a beautiful and ugly revealing process. Therapy usually is. But unfortunately it still didn’t change me quite yet.
It took many, many years for me to get to even where I am on the fixing front. I would like to think my recovery has been motivated by my need to focus first on my own children and therefor not having to worry about fixing anyone else’s problems. Cause we’ve got plenty of our own problems that need fixing y’all! But it’s so much more then that too.
It’s been little things that have helped me take steps away from being a fixer. Its been so many medical and developmental challenges that Riley has faced that no matter what I do I will just never be able to fix. It’s been being humbled by friends not taking my advice and then things turning out better then they would have. It’s my sisters justified bafflement on why I care about certain things and graciously pointing out that I am stirring the pot when I sincerely thought I was helping. It was my brothers wise response one day that something was not my problem and that I was choosing to make it my problem. It was my best friend encouraging me to look inward instead of outward when it comes to fixing. And I think some of it has just come with age and experience in general. But most significantly, a whole big chunk of it has come as my relationship with Jesus Christ has gotten stronger. The more I realize the strength of His love and power the more I realize that I can’t do anything without Him! And most importantly that He and His atonement is the only one who can really fix anything.
So here I am now, almost 40 in a couple of days, and Im trying so hard to be a HELPER instead of a fixer. A helper is still there for people and she still wants to serve all those that she loves. But she does it only when asked, when she sees an emergent need, or when directed by the Holy Ghost to do so, which is actually a lot! A helper gives of her time, talents, knowledge, and means without worrying about any outcomes. A helper listens with just the intention of being a good listener and good person instead of trying to solve someone else’s problem. A helper loves unabashedly but establishes boundaries unapologetically. A helper looks for opportunities to serve others but also knows her limitations and puts her priorities first. I want SO badly to be a helper! Maybe in another 40 years I will get there and fully recover from being a fixer!
Now being a controlling and over bearing mother? That’s a whole other story y’all! I haven’t even scratched the surface on that one of my issues! But it’s Mother’s Day weekend so we are just going to slide right on by that one and focus on what those crazy kids that I love and smother like crazy have been up to!
Probably the craziest of crazies in the last two weeks was some super rough weather. It hasn’t just rained off and on but violently stormed lately and last Friday that resulted in several tornado warnings. The tornado threat was very real and our school was put on lock down for two separate warnings. For two intense hours almost 900 students were in a duck and cover position up against interior walls. At one point even the watchful and comforting adults were in duck and cover as well which just escaleted lots of very scared students. The 4th grade girls were the most scared and Keagan was definitely right there with them! Her, Audrey, Avery and Lauren were lucky to be all together and to have both Mrs Dede and I there helping try to keep everyone calm and safe. Keagan held and squeezed Avery’s hand and wrapped the other arm around Lauren’s back as they cried together. I said lots of prayers and rubbed lots of backs as I whispered comforting words. It was pretty intense! Meanwhile I checked on Riley several times who was with lots of adults in her room but still just playing and not realizing anything at all was happening just outside her door! I loved it that way and that in the end we were all safe from the clearly swirling clouds that went right over us but didn’t touch down anywhere near us. That will definitely be a school day that at least Keagan and I will never forget!
During two other VERY stormy nights the girls had choir concerts with the Scottie Choir. One was at Spring Baptist Church and was actually a cluster choir concert with 3 other elementary schools, Krimmel and Klein Oak. It was really fun to see the girls sing on the same stage I have seen the Foster girls on for years! The Scottie’s sang two wonderful songs (I really think they were the best elementary choir) and then at the end all the choirs sang a beautiful song all together! Keagan and Riley loved performing in front of the large audience and Keagan later informed me that she ever so kindly redirected “ a grown man and a grown woman” from staring at some special needs students and Riley! Love that girl!
We barely made it home in the storm that night and then a couple nights later the Scottie Choir and Percussion had their spring concert at Mahaffey with thunder raging outside again. The girls once again truly shined on stage! I can clearly hear Keagans beautiful voice in every song and Riley’s smile lights up the stage, especially when she gets to do actions that go along with the song! The girls were in a smaller group that sang along with one of the percussion songs and then the choir sang 4 beautiful songs icluding “Danny Boy”, a fun rendition of “This Old Man”, “When You Believe” and one of our favorites “Count on Me.” Joining choir has been such a great experience for both girls this year and we are SO grateful to Mrs Hatley and Mrs Harper for all they’ve done! Oh and grateful Gramas came to their morning performance for all the 3rd-5th graders! PS I just love that Keagan and her friends all wore pigtail braids at each concert to match!
It also aggressively stormed while Keagan and I had a date to enjoy the big kids of DPAC’s production of “Big Fish” the other night with a bunch of my Young Women. I was worried we were going to have to sleep there by the sounds of it but we were fine while Riley was home going to bed early with Nana. And the rain also caused our end of the year Speedy Scottie’s running club celebration and the Mahaffey special olympics to be moved inside last week! Speedy Scottie’s had such a fun workout led by the one and only Coach Fox (again SO thankful for all that our teachers give) and then awards presentations and pictures. I got to hand out all the 4th grade awards and I was very proud of both Keags and Rys for the awesome amount of laps they ran this year before school on fridays!
The Mahaffey Special Olympics was absolutely extraordinary like it always is thanks to Mrs Dede! She works with our awesome PE coaches to put on the most amazing experience for all our kids that qualify for Special Olympics and I’m SO thankful for all she does! And SO thankful that Keagan is a part of Student Council this year so she could help a little bit in the planning and then definitely in helping all the athletes and cheering them on! They played the Olympic song while each of the 4 classes paraded in and then student council led us in the pledge. The Klein Oak cheerleaders who so generously came and helped did several cheers for the Scottie’s! And then it was on to the 8 different stations like bowling, baseball, an obstacle course and making your own torch! I can’t even tell you how much fun Riley and her friends had! They relished in the support and encouragement from their teachers, parents, student council and cheerleaders. Audrey and McKenna were extra helpful with Riley who wanted to do the obstacle course over and over! And I was SO proud of how helpful and amazing Keagan was with all the athletes! At the end each student got their chance to shine when presented a certificate and even a trophy! You know my Riley loved that and Keagan was sweet in knowing just what to do to help her hold it both, even with her left hand. It was just such a heart bursting morning that all 3 Kikuchi girls! We absolutely LOVED it!
It also rained thru a last minute birthday party celebration for Nana that the Fosters and the Ginns joined is for! And the rain even resulted in our whole school district and most others in Houston being closed yesterday! So we spent the unexpected day off being lazy, doing some chores, and then hangin out with the French’s. And you guessed it, yep it rained AGAIN today as Taryn and I went to the temple while Reagan babysat the girls! But what better place to be in any weather?!
But it has not rained every day in the last two weeks and we definitely took advantage of the days it didn’t! We had our last baseball game of the season unfortunately. But it was a good one cause the weather was perfect and our buddies from Klein Forrest baseball were the absolute greatest! Riley totally fell in love with her buddy Jason!
Also two Saturday’s ago we took the Reeves girls with us to a free Harris County Precinct 4 event at the beautiful Kickerillo Munscher Reserve where we fished, hiked, played games, talked to vendors, touched a snake, did archery and had snow cones! It was really SO fun! All three girl caught tiny little blue gullied fish and Keagan accidentally caught a turtle! They all did great with archery and had a total blast of an afternoon before pigging out at Sweet Tomatoes! I can neither confirm nor deny that I paid them a couple of bucks to touch the snake!
We also enjoyed a long Sunday walk last week. And what says after church walk better then pink fanny packs? Addie’s dance recital at school was really good! We had fun helping the Young Women for just a little bit at their kettle corn fundraiser and Riley has started trying sliding down in her car seat and propping her feet on my shoulders in the car which just doesn’t work for me. And finally, I just couldn’t leave out this darling picture of Riley and her bestie Jackie at recess!
And finally we had a really dramatic afternoon that I had rescheduled twice already because of tears! Keags and Rys finally went to TCH to get their blood drawn to check all their heart numbers. It was quite difficult getting Keagan out of the car but both girls ended up being very brave and doing it! Keagan was so proud of herself that she had to take a bathroom selfie with her bandaids on. They are such brave girls and man I wish they didn’t have to do that crap!
Well, tomorrow is Mother’s Day so hopefully I get a little bit of a break and a day off from fixing or helping at all! But, I guess I still have to feed and help the children, no matter what day it is. Now THERE is something to fix right there! I think I might need to come out of recovery for that one!
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